> On Jul 30, 5:53 pm, "MWB" <bick...@gmail.com> wrote: >> MY TROPHY WIFE went to the store and I am watching three dogs.
>> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while >> he's >> deployed.
> I think I know what you're saying, but it sure sounds like you just > called Mike's wife and truck "dogs".
> The truck might not mind.
> wd46
MIKE'S wife is a sweetheart and these kids sacrifice so much for U.S.
His FORD F150 truck is raised and a gas pig and I'm guessing 10 mph on the highway. It is a wicked nice truck and people stare at it. The tires are so big it takes two people to change mount them. I need a step ladder to check the oil and I've fallen out of it twice. I open the door and the next thing I know I'm on the ground.
It pulls my camper like it's a kite and I can pass cars. My camper sucks the life out of my DAKOTA and it goes slower than a blimp.
BUDDY is a wicked cute pain in the ass and he got me in a lot of trouble.
> MY TROPHY WIFE went to the store and I am watching three dogs.
> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while he's > deployed.
> BUDDY ate one of my TROPHY WIFE'S prize wooden knitting needles.
> I was on thin ice anyway. He chewed up her DISH remote a couple of weeks > ago.
> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. I think I have time > for two more PBR's. I don't have time to get a lobster.
> She's gonna be so pissed at me...she won't care if it doesn't look like an > accident.
> I'm guessing she's gonna wait until I'm asleep and she's gonna......
> OH GOD NO.....SHE'S HOME
> help me....Help Me....HELP ME
In the unlikely event she is a net roots democrat it shouldn't be a big problem to convince her it was George Bush who chewed on the knitting needle. Under those circumstances that's exactly where I'd go.
>On Jul 30, 5:53 pm, "MWB" <bick...@gmail.com> wrote: >> MY TROPHY WIFE went to the store and I am watching three dogs.
>> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while he's >> deployed.
>> BUDDY ate one of my TROPHY WIFE'S prize wooden knitting needles.
>> I was on thin ice anyway. He chewed up her DISH remote a couple of weeks >> ago.
>> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. I think I have time >> for two more PBR's. I don't have time to get a lobster.
>> She's gonna be so pissed at me...she won't care if it doesn't look like an >> accident.
>> I'm guessing she's gonna wait until I'm asleep and she's gonna......
>> OH GOD NO.....SHE'S HOME
>> help me....Help Me....HELP ME
>In the unlikely event she is a net roots democrat it shouldn't be a >big problem to convince her it was George Bush who chewed on the >knitting needle. Under those circumstances that's exactly where I'd >go.
Best idea I've come up with. Tell her you donated the pair to an internet auction benefitting the folks hurt by the Gulf Oil spill. Then reassure her you'll make the highest bid and get it back. Sneak off to Hobby Lobby or Michaels and get replacement, present them to her in a few days.
>>On Jul 30, 5:53 pm, "MWB" <bick...@gmail.com> wrote: >>> MY TROPHY WIFE went to the store and I am watching three dogs.
>>> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while >>> he's >>> deployed.
>>> BUDDY ate one of my TROPHY WIFE'S prize wooden knitting needles.
>>> I was on thin ice anyway. He chewed up her DISH remote a couple of weeks >>> ago.
>>> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. I think I have >>> time >>> for two more PBR's. I don't have time to get a lobster.
>>> She's gonna be so pissed at me...she won't care if it doesn't look like >>> an >>> accident.
>>> I'm guessing she's gonna wait until I'm asleep and she's gonna......
>>> OH GOD NO.....SHE'S HOME
>>> help me....Help Me....HELP ME
>>In the unlikely event she is a net roots democrat it shouldn't be a >>big problem to convince her it was George Bush who chewed on the >>knitting needle. Under those circumstances that's exactly where I'd >>go.
> Best idea I've come up with. Tell her you donated the pair to an > internet auction benefitting the folks hurt by the Gulf Oil spill. > Then reassure her you'll make the highest bid and get it back. Sneak > off to Hobby Lobby or Michaels and get replacement, present them to > her in a few days.
Just out of curiosity....Does Hobby Lobby or Michaels have wooden knitting needles made from virgin Brazilian Rosewood hand crafted by Pygmies?????
>>> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while >>> he's deployed.
>>> BUDDY ate one of my TROPHY WIFE'S prize wooden knitting needles.
>>> I was on thin ice anyway. He chewed up her DISH remote a couple of weeks >>> ago.
>>> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. I think I have >>> time for two more PBR's. I don't have time to get a lobster.
>>> She's gonna be so pissed at me...she won't care if it doesn't look like >>> an accident.
>>> I'm guessing she's gonna wait until I'm asleep and she's gonna......
>>> OH GOD NO.....SHE'S HOME
>>> help me....Help Me....HELP ME
>>> GO MARK
>>> Mark
>> Mark,
>> I love you dearly..... but .....I have to be on her side on this issue... >> it was nice knowing you bud.....
>> GO TROPHY WIFE
>> Barbara
> Thanks B A R B A R A
> GO MARK
> Maek
]
Mark, just do like my husband does when he upsets me.... say goodbye to your wallet She will go buy her a pair of knitting needles and some really expensive yarn. I will go buy me.... some really expensive fabric that i don't need.
>>>On Jul 30, 5:53 pm, "MWB" <bick...@gmail.com> wrote: >>>> MY TROPHY WIFE went to the store and I am watching three dogs.
>>>> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while >>>> he's >>>> deployed.
>>>> BUDDY ate one of my TROPHY WIFE'S prize wooden knitting needles.
>>>> I was on thin ice anyway. He chewed up her DISH remote a couple of weeks >>>> ago.
>>>> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. I think I have >>>> time >>>> for two more PBR's. I don't have time to get a lobster.
>>>> She's gonna be so pissed at me...she won't care if it doesn't look like >>>> an >>>> accident.
>>>> I'm guessing she's gonna wait until I'm asleep and she's gonna......
>>>> OH GOD NO.....SHE'S HOME
>>>> help me....Help Me....HELP ME
>>>In the unlikely event she is a net roots democrat it shouldn't be a >>>big problem to convince her it was George Bush who chewed on the >>>knitting needle. Under those circumstances that's exactly where I'd >>>go.
>> Best idea I've come up with. Tell her you donated the pair to an >> internet auction benefitting the folks hurt by the Gulf Oil spill. >> Then reassure her you'll make the highest bid and get it back. Sneak >> off to Hobby Lobby or Michaels and get replacement, present them to >> her in a few days.
>Just out of curiosity....Does Hobby Lobby or Michaels have wooden knitting >needles made from virgin Brazilian Rosewood hand crafted by Pygmies?????
In the previous article, R H Draney <dadoc...@spamcop.net> wrote:
> Why is this *your* problem?...just tell her the honest truth
Not married, I see.
> and it's the DOG whose days are numbered....r
Oh, yeah, definitely not married. -- _+_ From the catapult of |If anyone objects to any statement I make, I am _|70|___:)=}- J.D. Baldwin |quite prepared not only to retract it, but also \ / bald...@panix.com|to deny under oath that I ever made it.-T. Lehrer ***~~~~-------------------------------------------------------------------- --
> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. > I think I have time for two more PBR's. I don't have time to > get a lobster.
I am impressed. Yesterday you were nothing but fucking midget who was a sux fan. Today you are dead. Gradually climbing the evolutionary ladder, I see …
>In the previous article, R H Draney <dadoc...@spamcop.net> wrote: >> Why is this *your* problem?...just tell her the honest truth
>Not married, I see.
>> and it's the DOG whose days are numbered....r
>Oh, yeah, definitely not married.
Okay, try it this way then:
Present the dog's severed head to her, saying "Buddy ate your treasured and irreplaceable wooden knitting needles, but I exacted appropriate retribution on your behalf"....r
> >In the previous article, R H Draney <dadoc...@spamcop.net> wrote: > >> Why is this *your* problem?...just tell her the honest truth
> >Not married, I see.
> >> and it's the DOG whose days are numbered....r
> >Oh, yeah, definitely not married.
> Okay, try it this way then:
> Present the dog's severed head to her, saying "Buddy ate your treasured and > irreplaceable wooden knitting needles, but I exacted appropriate retribution on > your behalf"....r
> -- > Me? Sarcastic? > Yeah, right.
sorry - wasn't paying attention to my mouse location, i reported this conversation for no reason at all. again, my apologies.
>On Jul 31, 1:25=A0pm, R H Draney <dadoc...@spamcop.net> wrote:
>> Present the dog's severed head to her, saying "Buddy ate your treasured a= >nd >> irreplaceable wooden knitting needles, but I exacted appropriate retribut= >ion on >> your behalf"....r
>sorry - wasn't paying attention to my mouse location, i reported this >conversation for no reason at all. again, my apologies.
No sweat...only people who think Google Groups is Usenet will be affected by it....r
> >In the previous article, R H Draney <dadoc...@spamcop.net> wrote: > >> Why is this *your* problem?...just tell her the honest truth
> >Not married, I see.
> >> and it's the DOG whose days are numbered....r
> >Oh, yeah, definitely not married.
> Okay, try it this way then:
> Present the dog's severed head to her, saying "Buddy ate your treasured and > irreplaceable wooden knitting needles, but I exacted appropriate retribution on > your behalf"....r
> --
Made me think of one of those old talking dog jokes.
Kid leaves home for college back in the 50’s. Kid drinks, gambles, screws around, and goes through most of his college funds. The rest he just squanders. Kid calls his father to get more money. Father wants to know for what? Kid tells him there is a new program on campus to teach dogs to talk. He convinces his father to send his dog Bud to him so he can be enrolled in the program. The father is excited about the prospect of Bud learning to talk and sends him to the kid. Kid makes many reports of Bud’s wonderful progress. The program isn’t free so kid also makes repeated requests for money for Bud’s continuing education. Father is quite proud. He tells townspeople that Bud is at college and has learned to talk. There is great anticipation in the town for the return of Bud The Talking Dog. When it’s time to return home the kid calls his father and tells him he has bad news. He tells his father he and Bud were having breakfast when he told Bud they were going home to visit the family. That was when Bud asked, “So, is your Daddy still screwin' that redheaded waitress at City Cafe?” The father says, “Son, I hope you shot that lyin’ son of a bitch.” Kid replies, “I sure did Daddy.”
: "Charlene" <charlene.vick...@gmail.com> wrote in message
: news:a8c503bd-145b-45a9-a1c6-2f4286150a4e@j8g2000yqd.googlegroups.com... :> On Jul 30, 5:53 pm, "MWB" <bick...@gmail.com> wrote: :>> MY TROPHY WIFE went to the store and I am watching three dogs. :>> :>> We have MIKE'S dog, BUDDY, his wife and MONSTER TRUCK for a year while :>> he's :>> deployed. :> :> I think I know what you're saying, but it sure sounds like you just :> called Mike's wife and truck "dogs". :> :> The truck might not mind. :> :> wd46 : : MIKE'S wife is a sweetheart and these kids sacrifice so much for U.S. : : : His FORD F150 truck is raised and a gas pig and I'm guessing 10 mph on the : highway.
An F150 qualifies as a "Monster"?
: It is a wicked nice truck and people stare at it. The tires are so : big it takes two people to change mount them. I need a step ladder to check : the oil and I've fallen out of it twice. I open the door and the next thing : I know I'm on the ground.
Given that it's not their "full-size" chassis, perhaps the tires look big by comparison.
A local contractor replaced an old with a new F550 a couple of years ago, finding out after the fact that the new one got 5 mpg when the old one got 10.
F250/350/450 are "super duty",F550 and up are commercial-sized (the line now goes to 750 but once went to 950).Not sure how many have "monster" options but the F150 would have to be a mini-monster.
: It pulls my camper like it's a kite and I can pass cars. My camper sucks the : life out of my DAKOTA and it goes slower than a blimp. : : BUDDY is a wicked cute pain in the ass and he got me in a lot of trouble. : : : GO MARK : : : Mark
-=-=- The World Trade Center towers MUST rise again, at least as tall as before...or terror has triumphed.
>> My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. >> I think I have time for two more PBR's. I don't have time to >> get a lobster.
> I am impressed. Yesterday you were nothing but fucking midget who was > a sux fan. Today you are dead. Gradually climbing the evolutionary > ladder, I see …
> > > My last meal was a ham and cheese sandwich and a PBR. > > > I think I have time for two more PBR's. I don't have time to > > > get a lobster.
> > I am impressed. Yesterday you were nothing but fucking midget > > who was a sux fan. Today you are dead. Gradually climbing the > > evolutionary ladder, I see …
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